Cabgirl’s Neighborhood

the Happiest time of the year

I was watching a Christmas movie on Hallmark last night. Henry Winkler was the wise fun uncle who comes to stay for Christmas and  collects a handsome stranger at the airport, who of course falls in love with the uptight, corporate niece with the oh so cute kid.  I had one of those happy inane smiles on my face that you get when you watch a happy inane fluffy romantic comedy Christmas movie.

Mr FD must have been stunned by the sight of a smile upon my face – the first in a few days probably. He must have thought I had some secret supply somewhere and not sharing, so sat down and started to watch the movie with me. In the hope I would share no doubt. It wasn’t long before he was getting annoyed at the “bad guy” fiancé, who was boring and rich and distant and controlling, and cheering for the handsome stranger.

Just after the bad guy manipulates the good guy out of the picture and the wise uncle is telling uptight, list making girl to throw caution aside and run after the good guy, the cable station had some sort of break down. The frame just froze. It was the network’s problem and after a few minutes in which we imagined the lone person at the cable station , drinking coffee in the staff room, realising that the movie had frozen and running down the dark empty corridors to flick a switch, the channel when into an endless string of commercials.

Mr FD became quite distraught – how were we ever going to know what happened next? I said , relax, she will chase after him to the airport, but will not be able to find him and just as she is leaving he will appear from somewhere and all will be well.

No, not good enough for my man. He is obviously not going to sleep until he knows the outcome. I said, look even when it comes on again, they will skip a chunk to make up for lost time. I know the ways of this world, yes I do!

His eyes were like deer in the headlights. I could almost see and hear his mouth forming the word “NNNNOOOOOOOO!”. The man was in serious suffering.

The movie eventually came on, and yes they had leapt a chunk, but we got to see the scene where she is leaving the airport and he sees her retreating and calls out to her. Segway to car returning home and good guy running out of the car to embrace cute kid. Closing scene he and she kiss as the door closes. Sweet.

Mr FD was somewhat mollified, but the missing minutes of the storyline really upset him.  I think he went to bed a little empty.

This morning the #$@$#$%#$%@$#$^% parrots woke be at 5am, chirping away in the trees outside our bedroom, so I gave up the thought of sleep and came downstairs for a tea and one of the coffee muffins I made last night. I flipped on the television and LO! the movie was on replay and I was able to catch up on the missing storyline (I won’t tell in case you are yet to watch!). When Mr FD came downstairs I was able to relate the details to him. Oh happy day, he regained his happy glow.

It really doesn’t take much to keep a Mr FD happy. Perhaps you should buy one sometime. I got the family size.

perhaps not so much bling

Our sixteenth century ancestors used the shortened term ring to describe a ring-necked pheasant as well as jewellery for their fingers. Let us hope that your true love realises that you have enough feathered gifts to stuff a doona and opts for the finger bling!

Pheasants are native of Asia, but were introduced to Europe, and later America, where they were released into the wild and thrived in the new habitat. According to many accounts Alexander the Great brought pheasant to Greece following his conquests in Asia. Later, the Romans, having conquered Greece and the surrounding areas, introduced the birds to Western Europe. Old legends, popular in the middle ages, tell of Jason and the Argonauts bringing back golden birds. It didn't take long for people to conclude that the ring-necked pheasants were a sub-species of these golden birds and from Roman times onward the eating of pheasants was reserved for royalty.

For those following it more religiously then the five golden rings represent The first Five Books of the Old Testament, known as the Torah, or the Pentateuch: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus,  Numbers, and Deuteronomy. The fifth day of Christmas, December 29^th  is also the feast of St. Thomas Becket.

So the tally for the fifth day of Christmas:

Five golden rings,

Four collie birds,

Three French hens,

Two turtle doves,

And a partridge in a pear tree.

That is a lot of bird action - hope you are not allergic! 

Via MSN, Esquire magazine is running an article on the lazy man's guide to last-minute shopping for a girlfriend. It's a guide to finding the right gift in the stores a guy is already in.  I always sigh when men's magazines give away bad ideas.  (Btw, Men's Health seems to be the most accurate when it comes to women tips).  So I am going to do my part for the men in my Vox neighborhood and improve upon Esquire's suggestions. :-)  I am a Taurus... to a 't'... which means I can be rather picky about gifts.

Esquire tip: At the Grocery Store: Option No. 1
Get a gift bag and some tissue paper (look near the tops of the aisles) and fill it with miniature candies, gossip magazines, and a best-selling book that wasn't written by Dan Brown.

Hapa tip:
Don't even think about "wrapping" your girlfriend's present in a gift bag. The message a gift bag sends is "LAZY". It's ok if the gift is a really weird shape, but try to avoid it. If you must, go get it wrapped at a store or something. A gift, when presented beautifully, makes the recipient feel special.

Now, the grocery store isn't the best place to find a gift. But if you're stuck with that, let's hope it's a Whole Foods or a Bristol Farms. Then you can purchase some gourmet treats, such as truffle oil, imported cheeses, olives, etc. Or, if they have sushi-grade fish, you could purchase all the stuff necessary to make sushi, and maybe a non-scented candle, and have a romantic sushi dinner for two at home.

Not all women love gossip mags, so if she doesn't, then it kind of sends a message of, "I think you're superficial, and what else do chicks like, anyway?". And if you're gonna get candles, get them at a fancy store. Those grocery store candles do not smell or look like a gift.

Esquire: At the Grocery Store: Option No. 2
Cake mix, with which you then bake her a cake.

Hapa tip:
See number 1. If you want to buy her a cake, go to a European bakery. One that uses really good ingredients. For example, one of those boutique-y cupcake places, St. Tropez bakery... something more expensive than Duncan Hines. However, if you want to make the cake (nice touch!), find a recipe on Cook's Illustrated, or some good cooking magazine, and do that. Doesn't have to be a cake, but try to do it from scratch and pick a recipe that doesn't look overly complicated if you haven't cooked much before.

Esquire: At the Drugstore: Option No. 1
Most drugstores sell products from the high-end cosmetics company La Roche-Posay. Get her the moisturizer, body balm, and face wash.

Hapa:
Take a look at what she already uses -- cosmetics are highly personal. Or, if she's got any beauty/fashion mags lying around, flip through them to see if any pages are dog-eared for stuff she wants to buy. I do buy plenty of my cosmetics stuff from drugstores,  but I would tend to buy Burts' Bees or various specific brands.

Esquire: At the Drugstore: Option No. 2
A gift bag filled with candy. Nothing fancy, the stuff she actually likes: candy.

Hapa:
Nah. Cupcakes. Or fancy chocolate (which cannot be purchased at a drug store). Another drug store option (if you must) would be a bunch of toiletries in travel size, in a travel bag -- if she travels. It's nice not to have a separate travel size of all your toiletries so you don't have to pack it each time. If she's into baths or relaxation, lavendar bath salts would be a pretty nice little gift, I think. Pack it up in a basket with a bottle of wine, an eye mask and some relaxing music.

Esquire: At the Hardware Store: Option No. 1
A flower (orchids are always nice) and a nice pot to transfer it to before you get home.

Hapa:
This is actually a good tip. It would be even better accompanied with a bottle of champagne!  Btw, Home Depot will transfer the plant to the pot in the store for you (for free).

At the Hardware Store: Option No. 2
If you don't already live together, consider the symbolism of having a key made for her. No gift packaging required.

Hapa:
Not too bad, but this only works when you're asking her to move in to your house. Not really a Christmas thing. If you need another hardware store idea, maybe a wreath or a fruit tree (planted). And if she digs power tools (there are a lot of crafty women around), that would be an awesome gift.

Esquire: At Kmart: Option No. 1
A picture frame, into which you insert a picture of the two of you.

Hapa:
Well you'd better not give her the gift receipt, because then she'll  know you shopped for her at Kmart. Actually, I'm cool with Kmart, but a picture of the two of you is a little on the cheesy side. We could improve this gift by doing a digital photo frame (also sold for cheap at Fry's Electronics), with some photos of the two of you, as well as photos of her and her friends and family. Then you score points for putting all the people she cares about (not just you) into the frame.

Esquire: Kmart: Option No. 2
A Wii.

Hapa:
That would actually be a pretty rad gift. I'd be stoked. You can get them for cheaper at Costco, though.

Esquire: At Kmart: Option No. 3
Several of the practical — and surprisingly attractive — Oxo Pop containers. Fill them — really fill them — with something she'll enjoy. Like candy. Or a note letting her know that her real gift is on the way.

Hapa:
I'd love this gift. However, if she's not into cooking, I wouldn't recommend it. But I really love those containers. Sometimes you can find these and other nice kitchen stuff for super cheap at T.J. Maxx, Marshall's and Ross.

Happy shopping!

Mondays really suck, even when you don't have a job. I think I am going to option up to the double Sunday model.

UPDATE:   This is house across the street from our apartment.  It set the house next to it on fire as well.   It drew quite a crowd and they were out there working on the fire from about 8pm-2am.  It's amazing how fast fires will spread.  I sure hope everyone is okay.  Losing everything in a fire, one of my biggest fears.

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you say calling, I say colly; calling, colly

Four Calling Birds ? The original form of twitter?

The fourth day of Christmas, according to the song, has your true love sending a gift of four calling birds. The verse, four calling birds, is actually a corruption of the English word colly or collie. So your true love is presenting "four colly birds" or four collie birds  Scholars generally agree that colly or calling birds were actually blackbirds. In England a coal mine is called a colliery and colly or collie is a derivation of this and means black like coal. Blackbirds were plentiful and were a common food., so your true love is feeding you well, if  without imagination. And yes, Blackbirds taste like chicken too!

Some people consider the Twelve Days of Christmas a catechism song and so the four colly/calling birds represent The Four Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.

The song of the blackbird apparently made it a symbol of temptations, especially sexual ones. The devil is said to have once taken on the shape of a blackbird and flew into St. Benedict's face, thereby causing the saint to be troubled by an intense desire for a beautiful girl he had once seen. In order to save himself, St. Benedict tore off his clothes and jumped into a thorn bush. This painful act is said to have freed him from sexual temptations for the rest of his life. Obviously, before the invention of the cold shower!

Like the crow and the raven, the blackbird is considered a bad omen. However, the sight of two blackbirds sitting together is a symbol of peace and a good omen

Are you at all worried about the cost of all these gifts that your true love is giving to you? Well, to check out the Christmas Price Index, and the cost of the 364 gifts that your true love is presenting to you check out :

The Christmas Price Index: http://www.pncchristmaspriceindex.com/CPI/historyFAQ.html

For those of you with an actual life to live and wanting instant gratification - the 2009 cost of the Twelve Days of Christmas is $21465.56. So when your true love complains about the credit card balance in February remember the 364 gifts – one for each day until next Christmas- and be good enough not to complain about eating blackbird baked in a pie for dinner again!

Xmas time, festive time of year when people find a reason to get drunk and merry and say things like " christmas spirit/merry christmas" without any though about the CHRIST in christmas.

This year i've wished everyone a happy hanukkah, I wonder if they will know the difference?

X-mas time, another chance to practice "im busy so i cant make your wonderful party.. dam i really wish i could make it..." is lying in christmas spirit?

Uk has switched over to digital this month and the big news is that many people are still not using their 50inch flat screens to their full potential. A very low percentile of the population is watching High definition content and on the horizon according to TV makers is 3D vision in the next year or so. Already in the cinema there is the 3D movie Avatar and next year the world cup will be filmed in 3D by sony. This all brings to question, does this make any difference? Im no film expert but Avatar can be in 3D and smell vision but if its story line is rubbish then im not going to go watch it.

Same can be said in 3D sports events, if the actual event is rubbish then how is the 3D experience going to enhance it?

Why are companies making big pushes for features like High Def and 3D when it serves no purpose other than to stick people's asses onto a sofa for 5 hours a day. Of course its about money but surely sitting through a 3D version of a rubbish tv programe is just as bad as its 2D sister? Or is getting bored in 3D or high def the more " IN " thing?

I think in 20 years from now, children will look back at the time when people use to sit for 5hours a day and watch a screen and wonder how sad those people were. Also these childrean will ask how stupid were they in those times that they couldnt understand the relationship between obesity and the number of hours slumped infront of a TV.

Heading back home past the fullerton hotel after yet another concert at the durian. The choir was rather disappointing, lack of power, dynamics not there and in the end we left at intermission. Think walking ard the malls was tad more fun. Le sigh.

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Happy families are all alike, every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way

Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina, opening line.

Yesterday, Mr FD and I travelled to My Home Town, for what is becoming an annual lunch with my Mother, My Sister and her husband and My Brother and his wife. It is about the only time of the year that I see my brother - his wife's choice. Issues, people, issues. Her's not ours, certainly not mine! I have long ago given up caring, I won't give her that pleasure. She managed to keep their 4 daughters away from us as much as possible, but now that they are all adults, I am gradually creating my own relationship with them which is nice. Anyway, if I see Her, I am polite and talk and agree with her on things that go against my grain, but I won't let her manipulate me like my sister does. Hence probably why I am the most ignored. I love my brother , but we do not know each other.

Anyway, we are, despite all that, a happy family. Yesterday was a thrill for old Mother Flamingo Dancer who was able to enjoy having all three of her children together. She was so excited that she sprang for lunch! We went to the local pub (hotel? tavern?) where we ate huge meals. Mr FD had a steak, medium rare that apparently was succulent, but made all the other meat eaters at the table squirm. My brother has a farm and slaughters his own animals and yet can't eat meat that is not cooked to a degree less than leather. I am somewhere in between. However, yesterday I ordered this :

Prawn, crab, mango and avocado on rocket leaves

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It was perfect for lunch on a hot, summer day. The country folk thought I was being exotic and I could hear my SIL's brain checking another box under the heading WEIRDO. SIL had roast of the day. I think that says it all!

Mr FD and my Brother talked agriculture and people they knew and had a great time. Brother has had a tumour in his ear canal removed three times now and it has caused one side of his face to drop so that he looks like a stroke victim, but is quite normal (?) in all ways, so I was really pleased that when I asked everyone to pose for a family snap he sat in the front seat without complaint. I was so proud of him - true flamingo genes there. SIL ran away and made a fuss of not posing, so I took a bad photo of her fleeing. Well, that is what she wanted so that is what she got. Don't play games with me.

Despite all I have written, we did have a nice time. I always welcome seeing my Sister and BIL. And of course, Old Mother Flamingo Dancer, well, she is mother after all.

So, in this season to merry, sometimes just grit your teach  and enjoy. Sit back and think of Santa!